anger.. a heroic villain

Anger , why is it that this human quality is always seen as a negative?

first of all, before trying to control anger one must understand the true cause behind it. Anger can be defined as an emotional outburst whenever our "desires" are not being met or fulfilled. For example, one fine morning you are not able to find your car keys, and u have a really important meeting to attend, here your "desire" of "getting to your workplace in time" is being crushed. So , anger creeps in, spoiling not only your mood but others moods too.

Speaking about desires, our desires vary from time to time, some are very self-centric and some are the desires for a higher cause. This is where, we can understand that anger can have both good and bad sides. If a desire that is fully self-centered , fuels your anger, that can be considered as negative.

Say for example,lets consider a recent case in mumbai where police nabbed a television actress after she beat and inflicted burns to her 10-year-old maid because the child had been "caught eating shreekhand" , here the cause of anger for the actress was so stupid. The desire which was not being fulfilled for the actress was totally self-centered, and hence her anger is negative.

Whenever we get angry, its always good to take a few seconds break and analyze about the desire that is fueling the anger. If the desire seems silly , its better to maintain a cool head. But if your intellect tells you that the desire is correct and critical ,then the anger turns into a positive energy. The most common example is parents getting mad at their children for not studying:).By trying to analyzing our desires, i feel most of the time we will feel getting angry is not of any use. And by taking this break of few seconds to think and analyze ,we might escape uttering harsh words or doing hurting things at the spur of the moment ,which might inflict permanent damage in relationships.

One thing,which many of us fail to understand is that,there are a few things that are above our control and there is no point in getting angry or showing irritation about them.For example, climate.. people know they cant do anything about the weather but still continue to crib about it. They want the summer to be cold and the winter to be warm & curse the rain in the "rainy" season. Next, is the Traffic and crowd..people know that India is a populous country and there are about 4.5 lakh cars running in Chennai alone...but expect the roads to be traffic-free during peak hours and express their irritation about the crowd everywhere.They loose their cool for no reason!.Getting angry too much is bad for our body... a person who gets angry very often will look 60 when he is 40.Might seem silly... but its a fact!

One last thing about anger is that, the reason a person gets angry is to prove a point or draw attention for the same. Being short tempered is like a fashion in today's world, i know a lot of people who feel proud to have a short temper. People fail to realize that being short tempered only leads to the individual being "taken for granted", or people might say.."ya,'mr.x'?? don worry .he always loses his cool, he'll be normal in some time ..just leave him alone for now". Allowing people to develop such an image about oneself can be fatal in both professional and personal life. So we have to understand and use this emotion tactically.And when a patient guy loses his temper people around him know that something is terribly wrong,and will not end up saying "chill....he's always like this" and will pay attention to your point and take you seriously.